Cold Nostalgia

Friday, April 03, 2009 @ 11:46 PM

i am currently feeling stupid/dumb/pissed.
idon'tknow.
okay, these few days, i am super stressed.
i made a decision today, and i promise myself i am never going to give up this time.
not talking about today;
nothing much.
okay, from the 3 of you;
its now my problem,. i don't know why.
when i needed you to help me,
when i needed you to inspire me,
when i needed you to motivate me,.
idon'tknow.
you hais more often nowadays.
thats why you don't inspire/motivate me like how you used to last time.
idon'tknow.
anyway, i don't wish to hide my emotions from you currently;
i'm crying, after reading your post.
and how much you misunderstood me.
which you din clarify and then post it bigbig on your blog.
then let the people around you know how much i suck.
idon'tknow.
and what i sent this morning isn't a scolding;
this caused another misunderstanding.
idon'tknow.
if you wanna put it a way that its my fault, then i'm okay with it.
cause i really don't know what to do.
i really don't know what to say.
and i mean, even if you were to really fall back into love,
i'm not stopping, i'll give my blessings,
because its your life, its your love.
i have totally absolutely no control over who you wanna love you see.
i don't want to force you;
because i sorted out my thinkings.
i ain't the childish me Abg,
i am still growing up but not that childish and immature anymore.
Where's the happy you abg?
where's the inspirations and motivations you used to give gone to?
Why do you keep hais-ing nowadays?
idon'tknow..
i can't think anymore..
Goodnight.